Haven’t we suffered enough? Like genuinely—haven’t we, as a society, paid our dues at the altar of Michael Bay’s Transformers? And look, I’m not even here to dunk on the guy for sport. I’m not above admitting that I like more of those movies than I probably should. The first Transformers still slaps. Revenge of the Fallen has issues, sure, but it’s big and stupid and kinda fun. And Dark of the Moon? Underrated chaos. But after that? Age of Extinction and The Last Knight felt like someone filmed a cocaine bender in IMAX and then dared us to care. I’m an easy sell—I really am. One drink and I’m in. But even I tapped out a little by the end of Bay’s original run.
Now he’s back. Not because Paramount begged him. Not because fans launched some #RestoreTheBayverse campaign. No—Bay pitched them. He walked into Paramount and said, “Hey, I’ve got another one,” like a guy who just remembered where he parked his Ferrari. And they said yes. Because of course they did. Transformers is one of the only things in their vault that still makes money, even if every single critic review is basically “explosion with a side of plot.” So now Bay is developing a new movie—hands-on, potentially directing, definitely producing—and Paramount is quietly praying it’ll save them from the financial hellstorm they’re currently drowning in.
Let’s zoom out for a second. The franchise has been in a weird limbo for years. Bumblebee was cute, but not great. People liked it more because it wasn’t The Last Knight, not because it was actually good. The story was bare bones, the script was mid, and the connection to Bay’s timeline was held together with duct tape and nostalgia. Then came Rise of the Beasts, which had Maximals, a few cool moments, and an ending that teased G.I. Joe so hard my inner child screamed into the void. But the movie itself? Another bloated third act full of faceless CGI minions and “emotionally resonant” speeches shouted over explosions. It wasn’t bad—it just wasn’t enough.
The truth is, Bay’s early Transformers movies worked because they didn’t forget the human element. They made space for the military. They gave us Shia’s panic attacks and John Turturro yelling about Sector 7. There was an anchor. By the time Rise of the Beasts came around, all of that was gone. It was just robots talking to robots, punching other robots, while humans stood around like confused extras on a green screen set. The emotional core? Missing in action. The stakes? Lost in the sound mix.
And now Paramount’s clinging to whatever legacy IP they’ve got left while simultaneously trying to close a $3.9 billion merger with Skydance. I’d be shocked if this Bay news wasn’t timed to inflate the stock price. “Hey investors, remember that guy who made $1.1 billion with Dark of the Moon? He’s back. Everything’s fine. Don’t look at the Mean Girls reboot numbers. Look at the robots!” They know Michael Bay + Transformers = cash, no matter how loud the film nerds groan.
Meanwhile, Transformers One—the animated prequel that came out last year—is supposedly really good. Critics liked it. Audiences who actually saw it (all 14 of them) seemed to enjoy it. But Paramount’s already pushing that director, Josh Cooley, into a live-action project instead of greenlighting a sequel. Because they don’t know what they’re doing. They’re throwing everything at the wall and hoping one of them is Optimus Prime.
So where does that leave us? Right back where we started. Another Bay-led Transformers project, early in development, unclear if it’s a reboot, a continuation, or a fever dream. I’m cautiously optimistic, because deep down I am a fan. Always have been. Will I be there day one with my kids? Absolutely. Will I pretend to hate it after I watch it three times in IMAX? Probably not. Because if Bay actually cares this time—if he comes back with something to prove instead of just grabbing another paycheck—then maybe, just maybe, the man who built a franchise out of robots and product placement can actually bring it back to life.
Just… please… no robot testicles this time.
Hollywood After Dark 